For over twenty years, I have been counselling couples, helping them to deal with their disagreements and giving them the tools they need to overcome whenever arguments threaten to drive a wedge into their relationship. You see, the key to a strong relationship is not covering up issues with a big thick blanket but actually dealing with it with a mindset that focuses on finding a good solution for both parties and also treating it as an opportunity to grow stronger in your relationship. Here is a quote from a fairly wise counsellor.
“If every time you walked away when you did not get your own way, very soon you will be living alone in a very quiet house.” JTM
Think about this for a moment. There is not a single person in this world who is exactly like another. Each of us has our own opinion that differs from others in some way. Should there be a difference of opinion that leads to an argument, there are two primary methods to dealing with the issue; plant the feet firm, close off the listening device and determinedly focus on getting your own point across, or open up a dialogue, listen to each other and, together, develop a plan that will be mutually beneficial.
So many will take the easy road, the third road, the route of avoidance. Here is an example. Two friends, Jon and Jin, had an argument that started small but slowly developed into something that resembled a full-on feud. Jin would not budge and changed his daily routine so that he would even breath the same air as Jon. In doing this, he alienated others as a preventative measure including those who were trying to help the both of them. Jon tried everything to mend fences but it just didn’t work. Soon, Jin found himself alone, his friends moved forward and he was left behind.
I have also seen this in many churches, it happened in our church decades ago. When you hear the term church split, it is because no one wants to focus on the primary message, unity in Christ, but instead focus on their own wants to the point of disharmony. I remember a split that happened quite some time ago where one person was so demanding and steadfast that they said “if you don’t like it, leave. This is the way it has always been done and nothing is going to change. This is my church!” It took six months for the remaining people to leave. In the end, four people and one clergy remained and the doors finally closed for good. The devil had won and the Kingdom was in mourning for those who left the faith family for good. Here is my question; what have you done lately to contact those who have left, to re-build the relationship and invite them back into fellowship with Christ and the faith family?
“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away! Luke 15:4-7 NLT
Blessed are those who find ways to bring peace and love into a situation and work hard to build up the body for they will be surrounded by a faith family united in Christ to promote strong community. There is no worse place to be, lost in the wilderness, alone and without the love of those around us. If you are the one who is lost and alone, shake off the bonds that are keeping you hidden and grab hold of the hand reaching in to help you up.
This week, we welcome members from Teen Challenge. They will be bringing a message of hope and redemption. Please plan to join us either in person or online at 10:30 AM this Sunday. The service will be broadcast online on our website (https://www.mainavefellowship.ca/socialplatforms ), or you are more than welcome to join us in person at 402 Main Ave. W in Sundre, AB.
Blessings,
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